The Breakfast Bunch
by triceragoth
Summary: What do you get when you lock four Gryffindors and a Slytherin in a classroom on a Hogsmeade weekend? Chaos. A Maurauder's Era fic based on The Breakfast Club. Some JP/LE and SB/OC at the end.


"Miss Selwyn, your constant violation of the dress code will no longer be tolerated! I have never seen a young lady conduct herself so... " The way McGonagall was chewing me out you'd think I had just gone streaking through the castle. I forget to fasten four lousy buttons and all of a sudden I have a scarlet letter pinned to my chest. Although, I thought, the letter would probably be emerald, seeing as scarlet would clash terribly with my green and silver tie. I managed to tune out her rant about how I was tarnishing the school's reputation or whatever and instead considered what I would wear to Hogsmeade this weekend. "You will serve a detention tomorrow morning." That brought me back to reality.

"But professor, tomorrow's Saturday." Not just a Saturday, but a Hogsmeade Saturday. The first of the year.

"Believe me, I'm quite aware of what tomorrow is, Miss Selwyn," she huffed, obviously conscious of the fact that I'd neglected to mention aloud. "You are to meet Mr. Filch on the fifth floor tomorrow morning at 7:00 _sharp_." She scowled disapprovingly one last time before sauntering away.

* * *

The entire time I spent getting dressed, I contemplated the pros and cons of ditching detention. For one, these awful uniforms don't have to be worn to Hogsmeade, I thought as I secured my tie. Also, at Hogsmeade there would be loads of gossip and butterbeer, my two favorite things. Two things I figured this detention would be considerably lacking.

Hogsmeade: 2 - Detention: 0. It was starting to look a lot like I wouldn't be attending detention after all.

 _With your luck, you'll be caught skiving off and Filch'll drag you all the way to the fifth floor… by your ear_. I really do hate that voice in the back of my head.

After making sure only the top three buttons of my shirt were left open, to avoid bringing further shame on Hogwarts' absolutely impeccable reputation (cue eyeroll), I ventured out of the dungeons and to the fifth floor.

 _It's all uphill from here_ , I thought, as I entered the classroom Filch directed (more like grunted and pointed) me to.

"It appears the Slytherin Princess has decided to grace us with her presence on this fine Saturday," drawled an all too familiar voice.

Things had definitely taken a major turn downhill. Seated on a desk in the corner of the room was Sirius Black (who had made the remark), the biggest jackass of our year and the bane of my existence. Not too far from him sat James Potter, conceited Quidditch star and immature prankster. Neither James nor Sirius ever missed an opportunity to jinx unsuspecting Slytherins, myself included. To Black's left, in an actual chair, sat Remus Lupin, who, to my knowledge, there was nothing wrong aside from him being best friends with two of the biggest prats in the castle.

"Shut up, boy," snarled Filch. Black seemed to lose his nerve after that, I noted smugly. "You're not here to socialize."

I wouldn't have noticed Lily Evans, who was sitting as far away from the boys as she could get without leaving the room, had she not raised her hand.

"Excuse me, Mr. Filch sir," I rolled my eyes. Apparently Evans wasn't aware that being a teacher's (or caretaker's, I suppose) pet wouldn't work everywhere. "I'm sorry, but I don't belong here." I began to wonder what had landed the goody-two-shoes red head in detention, but I didn't have long to dwell on it, because Filch ignored her and continued speaking

"I'll be in and out of here checking on you lot all day. You're not to talk, leave this room, or even breathe too hard. If I catch any of you out of line you'll be spendin' next Saturday with me," he said gruffly, with what I suppose would have been a grin if he still possessed all 32 of his teeth. "Minerva told me to leave you this fun assignment - " Somehow I doubted whatever was written on the piece of parchment he sat down was anyone's idea of fun. "And gimme your wands before I go."

"You can't take our wands," James shouted indignantly.

"Watch me, Potter," Filch spat, as he collected wands from the other two boys. After seeing his friends give him their wands, James reluctantly handed his over. He then sauntered over to take Evans' wand before snatching mine out of my hand.

"My office is right around the corner. Any funny business would be… ill-advised." And with that, he stalked out of the room, making a point to lock the door very loudly.

I briefly went back to pondering what Evans could have possibly done to get detention before deciding I didn't care and moving to sit where I could put the most distance between myself and the group of boys, without also being too close to the lone Gryffindor in the other corner.

After what felt like hours, I was finally able to get comfortable in one of the remarkably hard chairs that I was sure I had never seen in any classroom but this one in particular. As I began to think about what kind of sales Honeydukes would be having, Remus' voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"... You have eight hours to reflect on why you are in detention, rather than enjoying your first trip to the village this year. Each of you is to write an essay, of no less than 1,000 words, telling me 'who you think you are'." It took me a moment to realize he was reading the assignment from McGonagall. "P.S. Mr. Black, by essay I do not mean your name repeated 500 times."

 _It's all uphill from here_ , my little head voice sang again as I began working on my essay (sort of). I had a feeling that it would be wrong a second time, too.

After deciding I couldn't take another second of staring at the blank parchment in front of me, I decided I had no entertainment other than the people seated around me.

"So," I began awkwardly, as all four Gryffindor's turned to look at me. "What brings you lot here?" I had no idea what I was getting myself into…


End file.
